


1 Fish 2 Fish Red Fish Goldfish

by Gnomad



Category: Snack Food (Anthropomorphic)
Genre: Being eaten by god, Consuming and being consumed, F/F, Fluff and Crack, Love at First Sight, Other, Snack food romance, Snacks & Snack Food, The snacks are eaten at the end, salty and sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 19:17:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5467988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gnomad/pseuds/Gnomad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A funny thing happened on the way to a stomach.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1 Fish 2 Fish Red Fish Goldfish

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ariesspicy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariesspicy/gifts).



_“I think it’s your turn.”_  
  
_“Oh, yeah, sorry. Busy snacking.”_  
  
Finn the Goldfish lies on her side a few inches beyond her small pond of a bag. Earlier that evening, she’d jostled friends and fins to get herself to the top of the heap and be one of the first to spill out under the flowing river of crackers. It’s been a big night for Finn. Not only is it the first time the Great Fishing Fingers opens their bag and hooks a few of her friends, the Great Fishermen have tipped her bag open entirely and she has a chance to see some uncharted seas for herself.  
  
And, for the moment, what she sees doesn’t disappoint. As she lies on the wooden table, the world moves in a flurry around her. There is so much to look at here! There are huge colorful columns of liquid next to her, fizzing and sparkling like tall lakes. And there are so many Fishermen! They surround her and her schoolmates, making noise and plucking up her friends as easily as they lift the effervescent lake towers. There are other kinds of snacks on the table with her, too, their bodies weird and wonderful and so different from her that all she can do is stare and marvel and stare some more. She was giddy with the possibility of being chosen by the Fishing Fingers, but now all she can think about is the display of confectionary spread out before her.  
  
After a time, the Fishermen get louder and begin clearing the table’s snacks away, lifting them far into the air and carrying them off into the depths beyond Finn’s view.  
  
_“Good game. Here, let me help clean up.”_  
  
She notices that the other snack foods directly on the table are being tossed back to their home seas and she expects they will do the same to her soon enough. Privately, she can’t help but feel a little relieved that today is not her day to move on. As she waits for the Fishing Fingers to scoop her back into her bag, the bowl across the table lifts away. There, behind the bowl, lies a single forgotten snack food. But it is not just any snack food, Finn realises when she gets a good look, it’s a fish!  
  
There, alone on the table, is a small red fish, similar in size to a Goldfish, but she is like no Goldfish Finn has ever seen. The fish’s body is a slick, shiny red, brighter and flashier than anything made of flour like her. She’s also longer and more lithe than any of Finn’s own kind, and although Finn is not sure, she thinks she can see scales stamped on the fish’s side. She has never seen anyone so delightful and beautiful!  
  
The Fishing Fingers continue to clear the area, but make no move to snag the little red fish. Finn, who is still nestled comfortably amongst the small pile of her school, can’t help but feel alarmed for the pretty red fish all alone out there on the wide lake of the table. How could a snack so beautiful be abandoned by the Great Fishing Fingers? She stares at the fish, contemplating her fate, and realises after a time that the little fish has begun to stare back.  
  
Oh.  
  
Oh my cod.  
  
If possible, Finn’s delight grows even more. She tries to angle herself so that she’s sure the fish can see her imprinted smile. Not all the Goldfish have smiles, but she does and she’s proud of it. Finn wiggles herself around in an attempt to show the little red fish that she has good fishy features, too, if slightly different from the other fish’s. She’s got a perfectly formed tail fin and she doesn’t have a single hole in her body despite taking quite a lot of rough contact with her school in their bag. She’s quite the catch by Goldfish standards.  
  
There’s no way to have a conversation, but they maintain eye contact and she tries to project all of her joy into her eyes and her smile. She doesn’t think she’s imagining it when she concludes that the little fish is interested in her, too.  
  
Just as she begins wondering if there is any way to get closer, the Fishermen are back, sweeping their big Fishing Fingers across the table like nets and capturing everything in their wake. She sees them just a second before the little red fish is swept up into a hand. She wants to shout, to swim toward her, but another Fisherman is picking up the bag behind her and sweeping her entire school back into it.  
  
“No!” she thinks, watching helplessly as the little red fish is lifted up while she is tossed amongst her chums. She tries to fight and swim against the tide, but it does nothing but incur some annoyed grumbling from her schoolmates. She loses sight of the red fish as she’s pushed into the paper and foil lip of her bag. She snags her fin on the edge and uses it to hold on against the sweeping, churning mess. The salt on her body starts to flake off as the pressure of the sweeping hand grows stronger. Everyone is nearly in and she’s not sure how much longer she can hold on, but she just knows that if she lets go and falls into the bag, it will be the last time she ever sees the beautiful red fish.  
  
The last of her school is swept in and suddenly the whole bag is shuddering and tilting as the Fisherman picks them up. The table drops away and she’s rocketing upward on the bag, still clinging to the edge by her fin. The bag swings as if moving away from the table, and Finn knows that if she ever wants to see the red fish again, this is her only chance. She uses the change in momentum to swing herself over the lip, shouts a quick ‘sorry’ to her school, and dives for freedom.  
  
They have moved far enough away from the table that Finn falls all the way to the carpeted floor and lands with a soft ‘ooof.’  
  
_“Oops, damn. Dropped one.”_  
  
Finn takes a moment to make sure she didn’t punch any holes in herself, and is pleased to find she’s still intact and only down a few grains of salt. The carpet is a new sensation, its piles squishing around her like sand on a seafloor. As she lies there enjoying its feel, she admits that she hadn’t put much thought into her plan beyond getting out of the bag. But just as she wonders how long she’s going to have to lie there, Fishing Fingers drop down from the sky and pick her up.  
  
_“No worries. I’ll get it for you.”_  
  
She only has a second of alarm at feeling the fingers hook around her body before she’s tossed into the Fisherman’s other hand where she crashes into a soft jelly lump.  
  
It’s the little red fish.  
  
She can’t believe it. She didn’t quite expect her plan to work, but here they both are, side by side in a Great Fisherman’s hand.  
  
“Hi,” she says, unable to keep her giddiness from showing.  
  
“Hej,” the red fish says in return, her lilting accent foreign to Finn’s ears. Finn doesn’t have a second more to think about it before the little red fish is pushing their mouths together, surprisingly solid and unexpectedly sweet, and she’s smiling into it, her chest nearly crumbling with joy. They pull back and she takes the chance to get a closer look at the beautiful red fish. She notes the fish does indeed have scales imprinted on one side of her body, but the other side is smooth and slick. She can just barely make out lettering on her body, too:  ‘SWEDEN,’ she thinks it says. That must be her name.  Finn has never heard of anything so perfect.  
  
They touch mouths once again and Finn wants to ask Sweden a million questions, about where she’s from, what she likes, how it is that she is so sweet without a hint of salt on her, but around them the Fisherman’s hand opens and Finn knows they are out of time.  
   
This time it’s ok, though. Finn has always known that her destiny is to be caught by the Great Fishing Fingers. All of her life she’s gazed up to the top of her bag with varying levels of nervousness, knowing the lifecycle of a Goldfish is assured no matter what she does. But her nervousness is completely gone. Before the Fishing Fingers could even lure her in, she has caught a fish of her own and was caught in return. And whatever happens next, she’ll have Sweden by her side, ready to ride the wave with her.  
  
_“Ha. Two fish. I wonder what they taste like together.”_  
  
_“Do it, man.”_  
  
Finn and Sweden look at each other once more, hearts full, and jump.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> If you listen to Pepperidge Farms, Finn the Goldfish is canonically male, but I thought ariesspicy might like femslash better. However, if you listen to Pepperidge Farms, you're also eating snacks who like baseball and taking charge, so I'm not sure how much anyone should be listening to Pepperidge Farms as a general rule. 
> 
> Thank you to my beta for putting up with my puns. 
> 
> Also, for the record, Goldfish crackers and Swedish Fish do not taste good together. Trust me, I was very faithful in my consumption of canon.


End file.
